A Commentary on Life

I have this voice in my head. I'd like to think it's me. Actually, it is. I'm a people person, and, I'm also sometimes critical. I read blogs, books, have conversations, and am constantly surrounded by people. (Sometimes too many. Today I was on the KCR-train- and I was touching five people simultaneously. It was not a pleasant situation...thankfully it is winter, and no one has BO and I had my iPod to whisk me away from the sound of the masses) I'm also a thinker, a tangent taker, and quite random. Today I was on the bus on the way home, and I saw a guy picking his nose, and I immediately started a monologue with the voice in my head.
It went something like this,
"Ughhh, he's picking his nose. On the bus. Why is he looking at it? I know the bus sometimes seems like personal space, but it isn't. Why is his pocket bulging? Does he have another McFish in there like he just finished? Who would put a sandwich in their pocket? What is that big book on his lap? It looks like a large Chinese Bible. Why would he be carrying it? Oh crap, there goes my bus stop, now I'll have to walk back from the next stop!"
And that's how it went. My exact thoughts. Strangely similar to Elaine on Seinfeld. I am constantly have a commentary on life going on inside my head. I was having a conversation on AIM today, and I was like, "Why the heck is the person so stubborn? Don't they see that...blah, blah, blah?" Then I was reading a blog, and I was like, "Oh, honey, this stage won't last, keep your chin up." And the commentary continued. I am constantly making decisions based on this inner commentary, some of them aren't so good. Some of them are quickly judgmental, based on what I assume. Some of them are harsh, and irrational thoughts. It makes me wonder how many people have a commentary on my life. And what they think. This can be an entirely paranoid and overwhelming thought. But the truth is, only One Person's commentary really matters. And He is the other voice inside of me. Lately in Revolve we have been talking about silence, listening, hearing, posture. All very good, valid, and horribly difficult things for me. (And for most people, I'd like to assume.) My commentary drowns out His voice so much. And yes, I do like my random thoughts and tangents, but if I don't allow myself to shut up inside and hear what He is saying, my commentary on life will become the reality of life. And that's far too much of myself. My mom used to say that I like to talk to hear my own voice. It's true.