I Wish I Were a Man!

**Alternate Title: Desperate People**

Today I went to Uptown with 2 friends to go shopping and to eat to celebrate one of their birthdays. Well, anywhoo, on our journey throughout the day...we saw a lot of homeless people with signs. Some of them stood on the side of the road, just holding a sign, some were verbal, some were not, some were men, some were not, some sat, some didn't.
I am not eloquent with words, so I hope that my heart will come through this anyways. Let me give a little background of the eyes that I saw these homeless people through: This past semester I took an Urban ICS class. We explored, debated, and hashed over the culture and injustices of the city. A lot of times, we didn't come to any concrete conclusions. I also was with Streetlight this year, a ministry to the homeless through the Marie Sandvik center. Through my experiences, I learned how to see these people in a different light, as real people, God's creation, whom I am supposed to consider better (not just equal) than myself. Not that I demonstrated that clearly though. One of my friends from the center was named Sammy*, the last time I saw her, she asked me to pray for her b/c she was meeting with someone to see if she could get her own place. She was so excited that the next week she might have a home of her own! And I got to share that joy w/ her. She let me into her life, not vice versa.
Most of the people, actually all, at the center still had pride and dignity, and wanted others to see and respect that. Today, in the very beginning, I saw a man, holding a sign...something about homeless, please help....and he was strong and tall and silent. Yet, here he was, in front of hundreds of cars, holding this sign. What drove this man to such humility? It's not a trait that comes easy to anyone. You could tell that he had an enormous amount of dignity (these are just MY assumptions...not facts). What drove him to this desperation??? Many people say that in America-the land of opportunity- the homeless are homeless b/c they are addicted to something, and that they usually deserve it. These people give up their dignity, holding out signs, in desperation, and/or habit. Whether they are desperate for drugs/alcohol/money to feed some addiction, or for food/shelter, isn't it our duty to help them? Because underneath that other desperation, aren't they just desperate for Christ?
Later on in the day, we were walking to a store and there were 3 homeless people sitting on the sidewalk, most of the time, I just didn't look up and pretended I was focused on walking with my crutches. As we were walking, a young man in the group, (probably a little older than me) asked for money, I said, "Sorry" and kept walking. He had blond dreds, and bright blue eyes, if he had been cleaner and walking around, I probably would have taken a second glance. I felt so horrible, with my GAP bag and all. I don't want anyone to think that I am doing the "holier than thou" thing, that would be stupid: while they were asking for $ and I was saying sorry, I told myself that if I wasn't on crutches and my wallet was easier to reach, or if I was a man and I could let him/her in my car, and maybe if I wasn't w/ friends and had time to chat with the people, etc, etc....BULLCRAP
Anyways...this has just been the impassioned ramblings of a disgusted girl, wishing she had done more, vowing to do more and to be ready for the next time.

*Name changed to protect dignity.